He Is My Safe Space
What does it really mean to love someone? I feel like there must be as many versions of love as there are people because I’ve never loved two people the same way. Even romantic love can shine in so many different ways. This is the conclusion I came to as I was lying next to him, our naked bodies entangled.
I just found out that he gets all shy and awkward when complimented, and it’s one of the most adorable things in the world. I tell him that he’s adorable and get a silly squeak or a joke in return. He doesn’t know how to react. I just smile and place my leg over his.
I think, this is the closest feeling I’ve felt to true love. Being completely vulnerable with him and receiving nothing but acceptance and warmth in return. This is all that I’ve been longing for my entire life. I know that I’ll never receive true acceptance and love from my family. It just won’t happen. So life has always felt a bit lonely as I was getting to know people while not having any secure attachments to anyone. I struggled to stay level-headed when all that my inner child wanted was love and affection. Sometimes I still struggle.
I often find myself wanting acceptance, love, and warmth from people I’m not even that close to. Just because we had sex, I now want to feel loved and needed by the person, despite often not seeing any future with them. Why? Because I’ve been starved of…
